i just wanna soil my oats bro
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
