Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
