Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
