she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
