being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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