Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She bit a glass in half.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
