Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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