i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
