you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
