dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
