It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
