someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
