Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
not ubering you a puppy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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