you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
