Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
