Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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