Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's great music for shaving your balls
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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