Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
