Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
