He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
