you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
