I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
