I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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