I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
