I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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