Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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