he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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