you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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