I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
