i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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