I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
