Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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