it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
