My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
