have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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