It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
