Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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