your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
