you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
