She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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