If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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