My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
