Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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