I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
