he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
