How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
