community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
