you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
