Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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