Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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