he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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